It’s safe to say that finding out I was having twins was the biggest shock of my life. I figured that it would be chaotic and exhausting, but I had no idea how much my work philosophy would impact how I approached parenting.
Finding Structure in Chaos
Throughout my career, I’ve come to hold some pretty strong opinions around how teams work best, partially based on my own experience and based on the consultants I surround myself with. Focused implements weekly retrospectives as a way to build alignment with our clients, so copying the practice in recruiting became an easy way to reflect and ensure nothing was falling through the cracks. As soon as I became a new parent to twins, it became glaringly obvious that making time for parental retros was a new necessity. Why was bedtime consistently getting pushed back? How can my husband and I ensure that we don’t both skip dinner when the kids are crying uncontrollably? Creating space for small feedback loops to check in, actively reflect and acknowledge what we’re doing has been essential to understanding how we can iteratively address any and all issues that two little babies bring.
Pairing Looks Different, But It Works
Similarly, I was introduced to pairing a decade ago and it’s become a go-to practice in my professional career. While engineers and designers at Focused tend to pair over code or mockups to collectively solve problems, my husband and I had to practice handing off babies, literally, at all hours. But when we tag-team, one handling a meltdown, the other changing a diaper or preparing a snack, we’re way more effective. The simple act of consistently working as a team to rally around an issue helps improve our collective knowledge and we can execute solutions faster.
The biggest learning that all new parents have, but maybe especially with twins, has been accepting that just when you think you’ve got things under control, you absolutely do not. (P.S. Never, ever, tell someone your kids are sleeping through the night). This realization reinforced the best practices we’ve always followed at Focused; when you build a structure for continuous iteration, frustration decreases. It’s not about finding a perfect system but about creating a rhythm that allows for constant adjustment. Rather than getting stuck in frustration, we step back, reflect on what worked (or didn’t), and tweak our approach, just like we do in our work. The ability to embrace change, iterate quickly, and stay aligned has been just as essential at home as it is with our clients.
Adapting Through Every Challenge
At the heart of my work at Focused and my life as a twin mom is the constant reminder: we are always learning. No one has it all figured out, and that’s okay.
By embedding learning into all aspects of my life, I’ve been able to create environments, both at home and at work, where I can grow. And maybe most importantly, it has helped me embrace change with less frustration, knowing that every challenge, whether it’s a complex work problem or a double toddler meltdown, is an opportunity to adapt and improve.
Parenting twins and working in a fast-paced, consulting environment like Focused have taught me the same core lesson: success isn’t about control, it’s about adaptability. Whether it’s finding silly ways to eat vegetables or refining a hiring process, the ability to reflect, iterate, and collaborate makes all the difference. The best teams, at work and at home, aren’t the ones that never face chaos, they’re the ones that learn to navigate it together.
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